Pun-Tastic Dad Jokes That’ll Make You Groan 👋

How does Popeye like his martini prepared? One Olive on the rocks.

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool on a hot summer day? Blow a whistle and say, "Everyone out of the pool, please!” How do you get 20 Americans out of a pool on a hot summer day? Blow a whistle and say, "For your own good and the safety of others, stay in the fucking pool!”

Why do bakers work so hard? Because they knead dough.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?' No sun.

What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please, ' he says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you, ' the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head. '

Why was the broom late for work? It over-swept.

You can tell it's a dogwood tree from its bark.

My wife told me she didn't understand cloning. I told her, "That makes two of us."

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.'

Every date I’ve ever had has been like my WiFi signal. No Connection.

My new year's resolution is to do less drugs No wait, _fewer_ drugs—it's to do fewer drugs