The Best (and Worst) Dad Puns & Wordplay 👋

I really have no idea what carbon dating is... But, I'll try anything at this point.

A poor man, a well off middle class man, and an extremely wealthy man in the 1% find themselves at the same event. The poor man and middle class man run into the wealthy man when they find out there's complimentary donuts and arrive to see him wrapping up 10 of the last 12 donuts and pocketing them As the wealthy man is leaving he walks up to the middle class guy, motions to the poor man and whispers in his ear: "watch out, he's trying to take your donut.

I just got my annual prostate exam. My doctor has me drop my pants and place both my hands on the table. He gets behind me and does his inspection.The odd thing is though, both of his hands are always on the table too.

Steve and John are watching the football when Johns dog starts licking its nuts. Steve says "i wish I could do that" To which John replies "probably best to pat him first or he might bite ya"

What's the most detail-oriented ocean? The Pacific.

Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down.

I want to go on record that I support farming. As a matter of fact, you could call me protractor.

I wasn’t expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind. It really came out of the purple.

How does a boar sign its name? With a pig pen.

What do you call a fancy fish? So-fish-ticated.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.'

What do you call 50 pigs and 50 deer? 100 sows and bucks.

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.

Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.