The Best (and Worst) Funniest Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Mom asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list. Now I can't see anything.

What’s the Republicans’ most hated Sesame Street character? The Count

Did you hear about the fiasco surrounding the reward for the prettiest cat butt? It was a huge cat ass trophy

A friend said my sense of humor was so dark... that is was like a black hole. Not even a light pun could escape it.

I got banned from /r/Jokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!" Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

A sacrificial lamb is really nothing more than a mutton for punishment.

The boredom of self isolation. Day (9) Did you know that if you rest one of your testicles on top of an empty beer bottle and hold a naked flame to the base, it eventually gets sucked in?If you did know this, and you know how to get it out, please message me ...............Urgently.

Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?

I was once a personal trainer, until I gave a too-weak notice.

You are european when going to the bathroom and european when you leave the bathroom. What are you whilst in the bathroom? You're peeing

I have a joke about drilling, but it’s boring.

Watching movies on illegal websites are probably the hottest thing you can do. I mean, why else would all these horny singles in my area be ready to chat.

I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

To the person who stole my diary and then died: My thoughts are with your family.