The Best (and Worst) Valentine’s Day Dad Jokes 👋

I just had a near-sex experience. My wife flashed before my eyes.

My buddy just got kicked out of his house. His wife was hinting at Valentine's day plans and asked him if he knew her favorite flower. "Gold Medal All Purpose" apparently wasn't the answer.

What does Santa say when he finds out about Mrs. Claus's Only fans? Hoe hoe hoe

When wearing a bikini, a woman reveals 90 % of her body Men are so polite that they only look at the covered part.

My wife and I let astrology get between us. It Taurus apart.

Flowers On Valentine’s Day I came home with a dozen roses for my wife. She looked at me and said “so I guess you want me to spread my legs now?”I said, “well, I kinda thought we’d put them in a vase.”

My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

How do you know coronavirus is an historic event? Forrest Gump is involved. .

My wife and I let astrology get between us. It Taurus apart.

Girl are you gorilla glue? Cause I can’t get you outta my head

Why does everyone hang out with matches? Because they're lit.

How much does it cost for santa to park his sleigh? Nothing- It's on the house

I bet Santa spends a lot of time at strip clubs He loves them ho ho ho’s

I put a valentines sticker on my bathroom door ‘2BeMine’. My best friend came over with his wife. She went inside the bathroom and I broke into song. Cuz she’s my best friends girl, but she used 2BeMine.

This morning, Siri said, 'Don’t call me Shirley.' I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.