The Best (and Worst) Best Dad Jokes of All Time 👋
Looking for the best dad jokes of all time? You’ve found the ultimate collection of the funniest, most legendary dad jokes that have stood the test of time! From timeless one-liners to groan-worthy punchlines, these jokes are sure to get the best reactions every time. Perfect for any occasion, these best dad jokes of all time will make you the life of the party, whether you’re sharing them with friends, family, or co-workers. Explore our top-rated dad jokes and discover why they’ve remained favorites for so long!
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. I now have Heinzsight.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Clothes, but no cigar.
What do you call a wizard who's really bad at football? Fumbledore.
What kind of magic do cows believe in? Moodoo!
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water? He had a very esteemed colleague.
What's a lawyer's favorite drink? Subpoena colada.
How do you measure the mass of an influencer's following? By Instagrams!
Lance isn't that common a name these days, but in medieval times, they were called lance-a-lot.
Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
I’m always playing with it. I always have it in my hand. I pull it out at family parties or hanging out with friends. I’ve been known to just whip it out in public, at the park, at the playground. I’m talking about my phone, you sicko!
Was holding a crab when it started pinching me My mom told me to let it go. I replied “no, this is the least abusive relationship I’ve ever been in.”
Does Freddie know how to play guitar? No, but Brian may
How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing? Asbestos he can.I'm so sorry.
I was born by c-section and I turned out fine. Of course, whenever I park my car I have to climb out through the sun roof.