The Best (and Worst) Classic Dad Jokes 👋

I have a joke about a broken pencil, but it’s pointless.

Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend.

I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.

What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs.

How can you tell an alligator from a crocodile? By paying attention to whether the animal will see you later, or after a while.

Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.

I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but she said it's just a bug that's going around.

I tried to sort out wtahtoebucrldazy into an actual sentence Then I relized “that would be crazy!”

What do you do when there's rough turbulence? Use an air plane!

Beer brewery manager on the phone with Mrs Jones: "Afraid I have bad news. Your husband fell into a vat of beer this morning." Mrs Jones started weeping. "Did he go quickly?" "He climbed out three times - but only to pee."

Why is the Joker's makeup like a whitewashed tomb, his lips like torn paper, his eyes like burning suns? Because when he was young, the Joker's father said"Let's put a simile on that face!"

I lost my job as an event planner at a nursing home today... Apparently “Get down before being put down” is not an acceptable name for a dance event.

I was attacked while vacationing in Russia All I remember was seeing Tsars

What’s a fisherman’s favorite type of music? Hard bass.

I have an uncle who's ambidextrous, but prefers to use his right hand The only thing he does left is write.