The Best (and Worst) Classic Dad Jokes 👋

My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it. So i bought her a candle.

I just don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.

I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.'

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

A father tells his son that he was adopted. 'I want to meet my biological parents,' the son demands. 'We are your biological parents,' the father responds. 'Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in twenty minutes.'

What do clouds wear?' 'Thunderwear.'

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let’s make this interesting.' So we stopped playing chess.

I hate Velcro. It's a rip off.

I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!'

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Wherever you left it.

What did one wall say to the other?' 'I'll meet you at the corner.'

My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March.

Finally my winter fat has gone… Now, I have spring rolls.

How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. The narcissist holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.

Teacher: “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is gross, and the other is cool. ' Johnny: “So, what are the words? '