The Best (and Worst) Classic Dad Jokes 👋

We call rings in ears earrings, in eyebrows eyebrow rings and in noses nose rings. Why don't we apply the same to fingers? And with this fingering I give you my hand in marriage....

Not to be alarming but, BEEP BEEP BEEP

The worst job I ever had was at the canvas factory, pushing a large needle through 50 layers of cloth over and over and over... Sew boring!

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "John." "John who?" John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse. "Knock Knock""Who's there?""John.""John who?"John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively

What's the most peaceful musical instrument? I don't know, but violins isn't the answer.

An engineer has trouble dating and seeks advice from his friend: Friend: Just go to a bar and meet girls, its a no pressure environment. Engineer: I don't know, one bar seems like way too much pressure for me. Can I go to a pascal instead?

Did you hear about Mexican drug dealer that kept falling asleep on the job? He had narcolepsy

I started a business that takes stock photos of food I call it Spaghetti images

Last weekend I went to see my gf's soccer match and she did this awesome save... ...She's definitely a keeper!

A reporter asks a man traveling across Asia on foot how he got from Iraq to Pakistan so quickly. "Iran"

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? Because it lifts their spirit.

Elon Musk unveils pig with chip in its brain... ...it was from the Kenosha County Sheriff's Department.

I asked a girl whether she would date a blue-collar man like me She said blue or white don’t matter, she’s collar blind.

‌‌I wa‌‌s walkin‌‌g wit‌‌h m‌‌y girlfrien‌‌d whe‌‌n ‌‌a rando‌‌m gu‌‌y whistle‌‌d a‌‌t he‌‌r an‌‌d sai‌‌d, "Nic‌‌e ass"‌‌. Sh‌‌e wa‌‌s clearl‌‌y annoye‌‌d an‌‌d demande‌‌d ‌‌I sa‌‌y something. S‌‌o ‌‌I turne‌‌d aroun‌‌d an‌‌d said, "Than‌‌k yo‌‌u I'v‌‌e bee‌‌n doin‌‌g squats."

Why did the judge deny the ghost bail? Too much of a fright risk.