The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Amazon & Tech 👋

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

She said I won’t be able to make it.

I got fired from my job as a cashier today... This customer walked in, picked up something from the counter, walked up to the till and said, "I'd like to pay for a Bagel with Cream Cheese.."I told him clearly, "I'm sorry sir, we only accept cash or credit"

Being a plastic surgeon must be hard... Not even a familiar face to keep you company

Which song would an exception sing? Can't catch me - Avicii

Two Japanese people get married. They have a baby boy.A few years later the wife and child both get the same illness. So the husband takes his wife and child to the hospital.He asks the doctor: “What’s wrong with Mii?”The doctor replies: “The same thing that is wrong with Yew.”

I went to Bank of America to deposit a check, and they asked me for ID. I said, “Are you telling me other people are trying to put money into my account and you’re telling them no?”

Why was the JavaScript developer sad? Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store.

I have a clean conscious—it's never been used.

What happens to Jason Momoa once he dies? He becomes Jason Nomoa.

If prisoners could take their own mug shots…They’d be called cellfies.

You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there? European.

I heard there is a new shop called Moderation. They have everything in there.

When the grocery store checker asks me if I want my milk in a bag, I say no, I’d rather keep it in the carton.