The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population #1. USA: 318.9 million #2. China: 1.357 billion#3. Japan: 173.3 million#4. Australia: 48 as of last census

What did the Japanese cannibal eat for dinner? Raw men

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Because she has no taste."

I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

During quarantine no one got my humor. I guess it was all the inside jokes.

When I die, I want to be cremated. It’s my last chance to have a smokin’ hot body.

I had a date last night. It was perfect. Tomorrow, I’ll have a grape.

One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend. “I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.”

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.

I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something.

Have a daughter named after my mother in law Passive-Agressive Psycho turns 5 next week

I'm starting a group to play basketball and then discuss philosophy It's called "shoot first, ask questions later"

For sale. Muhammed Ali DVD set. George Foreman Grill. Both boxed.

Research shows that facial tattoos completely eliminate certain forms of anxiety For example, you'll never need to worry about finding a job