The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept insisting we 'be positive,' but it’s just so hard without him.

What do you call a zombie’s butt? Deadass

If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor.

The creator of auto-correct died recently May he restraunt in peice

My Amish girlfriend only likes missionary sex. I tried to get her to try other positions. But all she does is cum plain.

My vegetarian wife wanted the egg smell gone from the pan in which I cooked scrambled egg So i cooked beef in it.

A blonde walks into a library A blonde walks into a library. She asks the librarian:Can I get a chicken salad?The librarian answers: sorry, this is a libraryThe blonde responds: Oh, right! (Whispering) Can I get a chicken salad?

A doctor accidentally emailed the results of all his vasectomy patients to everyone on the internet. They were publicly desemenated.

How did a woman on death row pro long her execution? She couldn’t decide what to eat for her final meal

What’s the proper term for a dinosaur boner? A T-Rection

Why can’t dinosaurs play baseball? Because they’re fucking dead

A policeman said he wanted to search my car. "You won't find any drugs," I told him.He said, "You don't sound sure about that."I said, "Trust me, I looked earlier."

Do you know how many people are dead at a cemetery? All of them.

Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.'