The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

A Blind Professional Fisherman, Is Given the Honerary Title of "Master Baiter" *He replies* : " It's easy. You just grab your worm, wrap it tight. Cast your pole, and just pray that you inevitably smell something fishy."

Never buy your hard drugs from the Roto-Rooter guy... Plumber's crack is nasty

What Dandruff Shampoo Does Guy Fieri Use? Frosted Flakes. Thought of this on the ride home and I am still laughing. Sorry for the bad joke, I needed to share.

It's funny how certain scents can bring back memories of people we associated with those scents like how I remember my ex every time I take a shit.

An American, a Brit, a Canadian, a Dane, an Ethiopian, a Frenchman, a Greek, a Haitian, an Irishman, a Jew, a Kiwi, a Lithuanian, a Mongolian, a Nigerian, an Omani, a Peruvian, a Qatari, a Roman, a Scotsman, a Uruguayan, a Venezuelan, a Western Saharan, a xenophobe and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar The bartender says"Im sorry, but you can't come in here without a Thai"

I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Did you hear about the hungry clock. It went back four seconds.

A century ago, two brothers decided it was possible to fly. And as you can see, they were Wright.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

I went to a drug den dressed as HIV. Nobody fucked with me.

A good project manager makes updates. A bad project manager makes up dates.

I wanted to become someone serving the community and helping people ever since i was little. On Mondays - Thursdays, i am a doctor. Fridays - Sundays , I'm a Police officer. Being a stripper is challenging.

TIL It takes men an average of 33 hours to complete a digestion cycle and women 47 hours. Guess women are the ones full of shit.

I always ask a funny question on first dates. "Are you a serial killer? " Its healthy to avoid competition in a relationship.

I used to be a man locked in a woman's body... but then I got born.