The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

bank account: $1,400 has been deposited into your bank account **me, at Baskin Robbins:** give me Carol Baskin

I had a package delivered And it was covered in drool and crayon.That's the last time I pay for a special delivery.

China and reddit's societies are similar Opinions aren't allowed

I have a masturbation addiction But I'm beating it

I spent some quality time with my 5-year old grandson today watching a movie.... Halfway through he asked, "Is that lady going to die?" "Probably," I replied, "judging by the size of that horse's cock."

Why does a husband lead a dog's life? He comes in with muddy feet, gets comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed.

My wife gave me an ultimatum: Her or my addiction to sweets. The decision was a piece of cake.

My wife told me to quit doing my terrible Arnold impression, but don't worry, I'll return.

We have ghosts in house \- "I went last night to the bathroom and light turns on by itself. I finish peeing and go out only for the light to turn off by itself too."\- "Idiot! You pissed in the fridge again."

The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless... I was like, 0mg!

I was shocked today when I heard my neighbor.. .. telling his son the difference between Email and Gmail.He said Email is when you use Electricity to send mail while Gmail is when you use Generator to send mail. I'm still struggling to catch my breath.

I just had an idea for lawyer porn... I call it "getting off on technicalities."

Bill Cosby and a surgeon have a lot in common For example, they both want the person that they are inside to be unconscious

There's a scary library in my town... ...everytime I go there I get goosebumps.

How do you win an argument with your family this Thanksgiving? Click the 'End Meeting' button