The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!'

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.'

If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

"Cop: I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia." Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

I wasn't going to get a brain transplant. But then I changed my mind.

Edward Snowden just joined Twitter. Almost immediately he got more followers than the NSA. Luckily for the NSA, they follow a lot more people than Snowden.

What do a therapist and a septic engineer have in common? They both get paid to deal with your shit.

A few puns I thought of while trying not to get out of bed What did the Alabama sister say to her sibling?"Cum at me bro".\-Why did the wild fowl sneak into the girls washroom?He was a peeking duck\-What did the fruit farmer say when asked about his crops?"It's bananas"\... read more

What does Hurricane Katrina and Kim Kardashian have in common? They have both swallowed hundreds of black kids 🙂

I adopted a goat the other day, but my mom said I'd have to get rid of it... I guess as long as I live with my parents, I'll have to make sacrifices.

What happens if a redneck bakes himself into a loaf? He's inbread.

I prefer my sandwiches to have 3 slices of bread. I'm looking for other people like that so we can start a club.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed. Guess my thymine was off.