The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called.

My wife and I have decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me.

Why does a husband lead a dog's life? He comes in with muddy feet, gets comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed.

My wife gave me an ultimatum: Her or my addiction to sweets. The decision was a piece of cake.

Man who has no sense of humor... has a serious problem.

Senior Computer Security? Senior Computer Security?My memory is going Mildred, so I changed my password to “Incorrect.” That way when I log in with the wrong password, the computer will tell me… “Your password is incorrect”.

After having his title stripped and funds cut off by the Royal Family, Harry has taken up painting to supplement his income. He’s the Artist formerly known as Prince.

What do you call an app that delivers drugs to you, whenever you need it? Instagram.I just thought of this while scrolling Reddit and i just had to post it

On my first day working at a bank an old lady walked in and asked if I could help her check her balance. I said, "Ma'am, are you sure?"She replied, "Yes if you don't mind."So I gave her a slight push and she tipped right over.

What do game companies do with their old successful games? Post Mortem, most port em.

LPT: In light of Hurricane Michael, remember to always look out for yourself. As they say: There's no 'I' in Team... But there is an Eye in Hurricane.

When you're on the Oregon Trail don't make fun of Terrance, or he might kill you. You don't want to die of dissin' Terry.

You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.'