The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

My ex-wife passed away so I went to the cemetery to honor her. I brought a 20 year old bottle of fine scotch and poured it over her grave But first I filtered it through my kidneys.

Just heard my ex just moved in with her boyfriend and he's abusive. Makes me wanna go over there with a baseball bat... ... and then blame it on the boyfriendCredits ~ Anthony Jeselnik

I dont understand why they say cancer is so hard to beat I'm already on stage 4

I almost fell for the Nigerian Prince Scam Jokes on them I already know Nigeria doesn't exist

I told my dad I couldn't believe I'd failed my biology exam. He said , I'm your mum.

A Nun was taking a bath when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" She asked. The voice back replies "It's the blind man, can I come in?" The Nun thinks for a moment and says "yes that's fine". The door opens and the man says. Nice tits, where you want me to hang the blinds?

Somebody just threw a bottle of perfume at me Eau fuck.

Did you hear about the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze?

A son tells his father, 'I have an imaginary girlfriend.' The father sighs and says, 'You know, you could do better.' 'Thanks Dad,' the son says. 'That means a lot.' The father shakes his head and goes, 'I was talking to your girlfriend.'

Just say NO to drugs!' Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

At the job interview, they asked me, 'Where do you see yourself in five years?'

Just say NO to drugs!' Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?'

If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!