The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed. I didn't mind too much until I found out she was faking them.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!'

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.

Dogs can't operate MRI machines but catscan.

I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why? I guess I'm just a bit slow.

I’m finally upgrading from 1080p to 4K in January. It’s my new years resolution.

Have you heard of the new sport called Quiet Tennis”? It’s like normal tennis but without the racket.

I don't mind being divorced. But I'd rather be widowed.

How much TNT does it take to blow up a country? I don’t know, but the answer would probably blow your mind

Psychologists have discovered a new way to see into the minds of those with ADHD They're calling it AD4K

An American tourist lands at Baghdad Interational Airport The airport security asks him a series of questions.Security: "Name?"Tourist: "Andrew"Security: "Residency"Tourist: "Idaho"Security: "Occupation?"Tourist: "No No, just visiting"

Carrying an instrument in public is like having a dog Everyone wants to know what kind it is, and they think it’s really cool until it starts making noise

All of my sexual escapades are like a big budget Star Wars movie Solo