The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.

What did the calculator say to the pencil? You can count on me.

How does the rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.

Why did the duck fall on the sidewalk? He tripped on a quack.

For the upcoming new year I made a raunchy calendar involving buff, handsome men from the mines. I was arrested by the police. For sexual or suggestive content involving Miners.

If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please, ' he says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you, ' the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head. '

Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend.

A son tells his father, “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father sighs and says, “You know, you could do better.” “Thanks Dad,” the son says. “That means a lot.” The father shakes his head and goes, “I was talking to your girlfriend.”

It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.

Why did the founder of Reddit, Alexis Ohanian, get married to the tennis superstar Serena Williams? Redditors are always looking for better servers.

My daughter asked why she can’t just quit school I told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail.My sweet sweet child looked me in the eye, and said: “I'll visit you”.

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives. I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. 'She obviously has COVID,' my wife said. 'Why?' I asked. 'Because she has no taste.'

Just say NO to drugs!' Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.