The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

NSFW 2 Thai ladies asked me if I wanted to sleep with them! 2 Thai ladies asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the Lottery! To my horror, they were right... we had 6 matching balls.

Why didn't the coffee bean go to the Halloween part? It was grounded.

My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.

Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!

A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

I was banned from the airport last week Apparently security doesn't like it when you call shotgun while boarding the plane

Two newspaper bosses are sent into a huge bank vault and find it stacked to the ceiling with piles of 24-karat bars. They can keep them for good, but only if they are able to diffuse a bomb first... Editor 1: Thanks for the gold.Editor 2: This blew up.

My local library refuses to stock how-to books about suicide. They used to, but the decent ones were never returned.

I really wish some of the fantasies in 50 shades of grey were real... like how she got a job right out of college.

In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid They give us Nickelback

I decided to remove my racing snail's shell to make him go faster. But if anything, it just made him more sluggish.

We were so poor when I was growing up, that my mother made us clothes out of the offcuts my dad would bring from home from work at the sandpaper factory. It was rough.