The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Baby eagle in his nest sees a fighter jet passing overhead. Amazed at the speed, he turns to mamma and asks, "Why can't we fly so fast?" Mamma: "You would too my son, if your ass was on fire."

What do Steam users and Reddit admins have in common? They don't want to pay for mods.

A racist and a sexual predator walk into a Virginia bar The whole bar screams “Welcome Governors”!

Got arrested by cops for celebrating earth day and switching off all plugs Shouldn't have done it in a hospital i guess

What did the police officer say to her belly button? You're under a vest!

I hate when people talk about their kids age in weeks and months. "Jessica said her first word at 36 weeks!"You mean 9 months."Ken is 24 months!" Deborah, he's 2."My baby is -26 weeks old!"No, Karen, you miscarried.

Why did it take the police so long to show up to Capitol Hill today? Because they had to go home and change first.

Old witch: “You won’t take the entry-level wizarding jobs that are available, you spend all your money on eye of newt and you think every little spell you cast deserves some kind of participation goblet.” Ok Broomer.

Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in? He went to see Closed for the Winter.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. 'She obviously has COVID,' my wife said. 'Why?' I asked. 'Because she has no taste.'

Just say NO to drugs!' Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

What has five toes but isn't your foot? My foot.

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.

What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be.

I have a joke about being a rejected organ donor, but I just don't have the guts.