The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Why is no one friends with Dracula? He's a pain in the neck.

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?' 'Sofishticated.'

The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y!

I bought Spotify premium for an uninterrupted music experience. But I still hear my wife’s bickering between songs.

I take Viagra for my sun burn... It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs when I sleep.

Fisherman caught the golden shark *Please let me go and I`ll have you one wish come true*, said the shark.*I want my dick to be so long that it reaches the ground*, answered the fisherman.*Ok*, said the shark and bit his legs.

What do you call british womans periods? Bloody hell.

Is this fairground big wheel made of iron? Of course it is! It's a ferrous wheel

"My boyfriend was slept with by you!" I heard one girl shout at another in the mall. "Your reputation will be ruined by this! YOU'RE GONNA BE KILLED BY ME!!""Why is she talking like that?" I asked my friend. "Oh, don't mind her," he said. "She's just really passive aggressive."

No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead, people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting “Another One Bites The Dust” The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the backdoor."Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that everyday.

I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it's because she is cute with big brown eyes. But in reality I just hope someone shoots her mother with a hunting rifle.

Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

What do you call an exhibitionist suicide bomber? A flash bang