The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I just made a bran cereal with edibles in it High 'n Fibre

A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. "Is everything okay, pal?" the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wasn’t going to talk to me for a month.” Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well, maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know... a little peace and quiet?""Yeah. But today is the last day...”

Centuries later, key US government buildings still accurately represent the people inside them They're mostly old and white.

Two criminals break into a drugstore and steal all the Viagra. The store owners call the police and they put out an alert. An officer in the vicinity turns to his partner and says “Alright, we’re looking for two hardened criminals”

I hate loan sharks. Much better to just buy them outright.

Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine? You only get one shot.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

Women should not have children after 36—really, 36 children is enough.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. 'She obviously has COVID,' my wife said. 'Why?' I asked. 'Because she has no taste.'

I have a clean conscious—it's never been used.

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?'

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.'

A cop started crying while he was writing me a ticket. I asked him why and he said, 'It's a moving violation.'

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.

Women should not have children after 36—really, 36 children is enough.