The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.'

What do you call it when James Bond takes a bath? Bubble 07.

Why do balloons hate Ed Sheeran concerts? They are afraid of pop music.

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people—the student, his mama, and his pauper.

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

I just spent $300 on a limo and learned it doesn't come with a driver. I can't believe I have nothing to chauffer it.

I have a joke about trickle down economics. But 99% of you will never get it.

I have a joke about being a rejected organ donor, but I just don't have the guts.

My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

When I was younger, my dad went to prison because he set his boss’s house on fire. I always wondered if I’d wind up in jail like my old man, so I visited him one weekend and I asked him, “Dad, are we all pyromaniacs in this family?” And he said... “Yes we are, son.”

[NSFW] Vaxx joke to help break the ice **For those of you who are worried about the Pfizer vaccine, know that they make Viagra too!** If they can raise the dead, they can save the living!

Apparently the man was smothered to death between a pair of breasts. There was no sign of a struggle.