The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Did you hear the NPR segment about how it’s rude to ask how heavy people are? “Weight? Weight!? Don’t tell me!”

Bernie Sanders and Google Fiber walk into a bar. And all of Reddit gave it an upvote.

Bill: I hope Hillary will have better interns in the Oval Office than I did. All of mine sucked.

I’m always playing with it. I always have it in my hand. I pull it out at family parties or hanging out with friends. I’ve been known to just whip it out in public, at the park, at the playground. I’m talking about my phone, you sicko!

China Online What do you call a Chinese man with a slow internet connection?Lo Ding

Why are Male Prostitutes' more expensive than Female Prostitutes'? The Price of wood is so damn high.....

The wife and I went to a bank robber-themed fancy dress party last night. Well I did. She stayed in the car, keeping the engine running.

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." "Oh yeah?" the son retorts. "Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States."

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

Why is no one friends with Dracula? He's a pain in the neck.

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people—the student, his mama, and his pauper.

Why were the utensils stuck together? They were spooning.

I can sum up 2021 in one word. Five

How do you throw a party in outer space? You planet.

If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?