The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I talked to a poet who only wrote about wells. His stuff was deep.

My daughter just shrieked at me, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” What an odd way to begin a conversation.

I have a joke about being a rejected organ donor, but I just don't have the guts.

What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

My Greek mythology class is killing my GPA. I guess you could say it's my Achilles' elbow.

My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March.

Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage. I take that as a compliment.

My ex used to beat me a lot with stringed instruments. Then i realised that she used to do it to all of her previous boyfriends. I would have broken up sooner if i had known she had a history of violins

We should send all of Earth's politicians to colonize Mars. All that hot air would make it habitible quickly!

Pig A man walks up to his wife with a duck under his arm and says"This is the pig I've been fucking"Wife says "that's not a pig, that's a duck"Husband says "I wasn't talking to you"