The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

After 4 months without the gym I finally went back and a great weight was lifted off my shoulders After they removed the weight, the paramedics then took me to the hospital for extensive surgery.

There was supposed to be a world ending event in 2020 But God just said “Give them a little longer and they’ll do it themselves”

It took my wife six hours to push out our first child. He’s old enough to live by himself now.

Why did the oyster's girlfriend leave him? He was shellfish in the seabedNo, my 4 year old son didn't write this. I did.

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I'm eager to please.

My daughter's boyfriend introduced himself to me and said, 'Hello, sir, I'm David. Nice to meet you.' He put out his hand and I said, 'David, are you nervous?' He said no, so I grabbed his hand, looked him in the eyes, and said, 'Then why are you shaking?'

Did you hear about the french general who stepped on a landmine? Napoleon Blown Apart.

It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa.'

Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable.'

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.

What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Because she has no taste."

My wife gave me an ultimatum: Her or my addiction to sweets. The decision was a piece of cake.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just-water.