The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

You used to be able to get air for free at gas stations, but now it's a $1. That's inflation for you.

How do nonbinary people hurt each other? They slash them. (They/them)

My wife and I let astrology get between us. It Taurus apart.

I wasn’t close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

Am I the only man my wife has ever dated? Unfortunately yes, she said the others were all nines or tens!

What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be.

Last night my wife and I watched two DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.

Joke from my 10 year old niece. What do you call a sleeping T-Rex A dinosnore

I once went out with a girl who had really bad eczema on her chest... She had a cracking pair of tits.

Little boy runs to his mother yelling "Mommy, dad hung himself in the bathroom!" Panicked mom runs to the bathroom only to see it's empty. "Haha Aprli Fools!" laughs the boy "He hung himself in the basement."

Every since I bought a Tesla and they made weed legal, life hasn’t been the same Now I have to tell hitchhikers that ass is the only acceptable form of payment.

What’s the difference between the “China Virus” and the Vietnam War? Trump dodged the Vietnam War.

Ireland Did you hear about the Diseased Colony in Ireland that stole everyone's money?.......It was a Leper Con.

Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.