The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

To the person who stole my depression medication: I hope you're happy now.

Mom is mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the ocean.

I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.

I have a joke about being a rejected organ donor, but I just don't have the guts.

Doctor: Your dad’s not with us anymore Me: Damn, what happened? Doctor: He’s at a different hospital Me: Oh, whew Doctor: Dead tho

People be like I am fat because my mother cooks good food... ...I am like I am single because I have strong hands.

I saw a single set of footprints in the sand... "Lord," I asked, "why is there but one set of footprints in the sand?""My child," he tenderly replied, "Those are Chris Christie's."

My uncle used to circumcise elephants. The pay was terrible, but... The tips were massive.

I bought your book "How to scam people on Internet"... ...and I still haven't received it.

Why are women so bad at parking cars? Because for the last 200 years they’ve been told that three inches are actually six.

If CNN released photos of Stormy Daniels & Trump Do you know what he'd call them?Fake Nudes.

I was the captain of the chess team in high school... And as you might have guessed from that statement, I’m white and I’ve never dated a black woman. But if I ever do date a black woman, I know one thing:I’ll have to make the first move.

I have an idea for a restaurant, it’s a mixture of Jimmy John’s and a strip club I’ll call it “Jimmy Dongs”

My friend takes bets on who's the ugliest person in a crowd. He's a FaceBookie.

What's worse than getting hot and bothered with your grandmother? Being thrown out of the crematorium before you finish.