The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.

It really takes guts to be an organ donor.

I have a joke about trickle down economics. But 99% of you will never get it.

I had a fight with my erection this morning I beat it single handedly.

When you don't have a lot of work experience, but you have a lot of ex-girlfriends "Progressive problem solving skills in an increasingly difficult work environment, with ever increasing productivity goals, only for the company to downsize and lay you off because 'it wasn't you, it was me' reasons."

97.62% of the world's population has accepted climate change as a scientific fact. The rest of them are in North America.

What noise does a dead giraffe make? *thud*

I went to the library and asked for Trump's book about deporting illegal immigrants. She told me, "Get the F*ck out of my country and don't come back." Me: Yes that's the one.

What is the difference between a light bulb and pregnant woman? You can unscrew a light bulb.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor.

I hate Velcro. It's a rip off.

I was in a grocery store when a man started to throw cheese, butter and yoghurt at me. How Dairy!

I have a joke about the flu, but I hope you don’t get it.

I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off—too much sax and violins.