The Best (and Worst) Dad Puns & Wordplay 👋

What kind of sandals do frogs wear? Open-toad.

What did the hamburger name its baby? Patty.

I have a joke about immortality, and it never gets old.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.

I'm reading a horror story in braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can just feel it.

A young woman goes to a fortuneteller. The fortuneteller tells her that she will be broke and unhappy until she turns fifty. “What happens when I turn fifty?” the young woman asks, staring down at the cards. “Oh, nothing,” said the fortuneteller. “You’ll just be used to it by then.”

Did you hear about the Scotsman who dropped a £1 coin? When he went to pick it up, it hit him on the back of his head.

What sort of Spanish sporting event would Jesus hang out at? La Crosse

...well darn I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

What did the blacksmith say to the knight when he delivered the knight’s new armor? You’ve got mail

My friend is so successful, he does surgery, is a military general, and he was recently knighted by the Queen of England. We call him Sir Gen

Me: "i'm terrified of those big empty spaces people yell into." Therapist: "A void."Me: "Good advice, thank you."

Did you hear about that time Einstein panicked while hosting an awards show? He equals emcee scared.

Joke from my 10 year old niece. What do you call a sleeping T-Rex A dinosnore

Why are working conditions at the Tyre shop so poor? Because the squeaky wheel gets replaced