The Best (and Worst) Dad Puns & Wordplay 👋

A man tells his date A man tells his date “ I work with animals”And she said “ I love a man who that cares about animals, where do you work?”And with a grin on his face the man said “I’m a butcher.”

It's dark, gloomy with a slight bit of fog. The little girl grips the man's hand tightly as an owls hoot echoed through the rustling trees... "I'm scared" said the little girl."You're scared?!" Said the man. "At least you don't have to walk back alone!"

Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch? Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy.

My son was watching me read “War and Peace”, and asked me, “Why is the book so thick?” I said, “Well, ..it’s a long story.”

I've always had a deep connection with mirrors I see a lot of myself in them

A man asks the waiter : "Do you serve crabs here?" "Take a seat. We serve everybody."

When I was younger, my dad went to prison because he set his boss’s house on fire. I always wondered if I’d wind up in jail like my old man, so I visited him one weekend and I asked him, “Dad, are we all pyromaniacs in this family?” And he said... “Yes we are, son.”

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... It's impossible to put down

After having his title stripped and funds cut off by the Royal Family, Harry has taken up painting to supplement his income. He’s the Artist formerly known as Prince.

Two men in a park. A creepy guy walks up to another man in a park. Creepy guy leans close to the man and whispers "do you have any naked photos of your wife?" The man angrily says "certainly not". Creepy guy says "would you like to buy some?"

What do sheep like to do in the summer? Have a baa-baa-cue!

What do you put in your interstellar trail mix? Astro-nuts

Why didn’t the oyster share her pearl? She was shellfish.

What's another word for a mattress? A loaf of bed.

I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins - I couldn't differentiate between them.