The Best (and Worst) Dad Puns & Wordplay 👋

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.

I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.

I was going to go on an expensive vacation with a classical pianist, but he was too baroque.

I have a joke about butter, but I’m not going to spread it.

I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.

I’m friends with almost all the letters of the alphabet. I just don’t know Y.

I heard that Sean Connery likes to cover his food in herbs. But only partially.

Why does Santa need to have all of his maps custom made? He uses polar coordinates!

Ford and Renault were working on a joint car project...... ...where they combined the Renault Clio with the Ford Taurus. They gave up when male test drivers couldn't find the car.

Why do hockey rinks have rounded corners instead of 90 degree angles? If they were 90 degrees the ice would melt.

My favourite element in the periodic table is ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQSTUVWXYZ Or, as it's also known, R gone

I turned to my wife last night I turned to my wife last night and said ......."I'm into anal".She gave me a look of despair, glared at me and then said "Animal".I just love it when we do the cryptic crossword together!

Friend: do you know that one guy who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars? Me: well of course I know him, he is me

What do you call the Avenger that's not really part of the main group and usually only plays a small role in their missions? Peripheral Vision#

For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero? Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.