The Best (and Worst) Daily Dad Joke Calendar 👋

I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire. Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.

Have you heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mainly wrap.

I used to be able to play piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.

Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was out standing in his field.

How do you get a farm girl to marry you? First, a tractor.

I’m always playing with it. I always have it in my hand. I pull it out at family parties or hanging out with friends. I’ve been known to just whip it out in public, at the park, at the playground. I’m talking about my phone, you sicko!

My friend couldn't afford to pay his bill, so I sent him a "Get Well Soon" card.

I catered a movie night where they watched titanic. Safe to say the iceberg lettuce wraps didn’t go over well.

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

There was once a soap opera called "Touched By An Angle" but most episodes just went off on tangents

Cleveland has announced their baseball team will no longer be called "The Indians". It's about time. Now we can finally call them the Cleveland Steamers.

Do you think Daniel Radcliffe could ever play a hobbit? No, but Elijah would.

Why did the blonde enter the tennis courts naked? Because the sign said tennis shoes only.*edit*Thanks for the sliver kind person

I told my doctor I was having problems with my hearing. He asked me what the symptoms were. I told him they were a yellow cartoon family.