The Best (and Worst) Daily Dad Joke Calendar 👋

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, 'When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.' 'Oh yeah?' the son retorts. 'Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.'

I took British Airlines to court after losing my luggage. The judge threw it out because we had no case

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They're going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on."

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population #1. USA: 318.9 million #2. China: 1.357 billion#3. Japan: 173.3 million#4. Australia: 48 as of last census

I’m an expert at picking leaves and heating them in water. It’s my special tea.

What do you call a fake noodle?' 'An impasta.'

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.'

I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.'

“Knock, knock. ' “Who’s there? ' “Ayatollah. ' “Ayatollah who? ' “Ayatollah you already. '

If you see a crime at an Apple store, are you an iWitness?

MIlk is the fastest liquid on earth. It's pasterized before you even see it!

I’m always playing with it. I always have it in my hand. I pull it out at family parties or hanging out with friends. I’ve been known to just whip it out in public, at the park, at the playground. I’m talking about my phone, you sicko!

Believe it or not, Satan took a shot at being a YouTuber His channel got loads viewsToo bad he didn't make a penny though The channel got demonetized

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, 'That’s arson.'