The Best (and Worst) Funniest Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the backdoor."Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that everyday.

Today I made the mistake of masturbating without a tissue or a sock nearby I should have known that would cum in handy

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

My therapist told me I have problems expressing my emotions. Can’t say I’m surprised.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

Why did Waldo go to therapy? To find himself.

What do you call two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk.

I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What do you want?" The man says, "Oh, just some fruit punch." The bartender sighs and shakes his head, "If you want punch, you're gonna have to wait in line." The man looks around, but there is no punchline.

Do you know the most important job of a grill master at a restaurant? To please their steak holders.

Lazy people fact #2048290320389220192842991 You were too lazy to read that number.

SpongeBob may be the main character of the show. But Patrick is the star.

I had a fight with my erection this morning I beat it single handedly.

97.62% of the world's population has accepted climate change as a scientific fact. The rest of them are in North America.

What noise does a dead giraffe make? *thud*