The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

I realize I've put on some weight, so I joined an aerobics class. When I got there I jumped and gyrated and bent and twisted. But by the time I got my gym shorts on the hour was over.

My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill... So, I sent him a 'Get well Soon' card.

What do you call a stallion raised by a reclusive author on whole grain wheat? [oc] A Thoreau-bred thoroughbred fed thorough bread.

Why is "R" only a pirate's second favorite letter? Because their first love is the C.

My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work... She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please, ' he says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you, ' the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head. '

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

I'll call you later.' Don't call me later, call me Dad.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let’s make this interesting.' So we stopped playing chess.

I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. 'No,' I said. 'It's to look at.'

What does a baby computer call his father? Data.

Just look at that couple down the road,' a wife told her husband. 'He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can’t you do that?' 'Are you insane?' he responded. 'I barely know the woman!'

Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.'

Your wife and daughter look like twins,' my friend said. 'Well,' I replied, 'they were separated at birth.'

I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.'