The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

Why did a customer leave the blockbuster store disappointed? They were never going to give him Up.

I’m American, and I’m sick of people saying America is “the stupidest country in the world.” Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

Why is calcium vital in the brass instrument manufacturing industry? Because calcium helps build trombones

What did Ash say when he accidentally walked in on Misty changing? Sorry, I wasn't trying to get a Pikachu.

I was watching Star Wars with my daughter and when she asked me why Luke climbed inside the Tauntaun, I replied that it was to keep warm. With a puzzled frown, she questioned how warm was it inside... Knowingly, I told her, "Lukewarm."

My girlfriend and I just had an argument about posting our sextape, from start to finish online. Is it pronounced Jif (like peanutbutter) or Gif (like gift)?

I went into a bar and said to the bartender, “Surprise me...” So he showed me a naked picture of my wife. ~Rodney Dangerfield

My uncle picked me up from school during recess today! My mom never told me about him, but it's nice to finally meet him!

My friend came back from vacation with long hair... ... and I wanted to make a joke about it, but I couldn't *comb* up with one.

I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off-too much sax and violins.

I just nicknamed my new phone "Titanic" so whenever it's charging I can say "the Titanic is synching."

I think it's a great idea to wear two different deodorants, one under each armpit. But that's just my two scents.

I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I'm just doing it for kicks!

We just bought our new dream house, and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, 'What's upstairs!?' I chuckled and replied, 'Awwwww, sweetie...stairs don't talk!'

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