The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? “Bison!”

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

My dog is a genius. I asked him, "What's two minus two?" He said nothing.

After dinner my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

I went a week without makeup and here's what happened: Nothing. No one gave a shit.

My wife wants to talk to me about my childish behaviour. Little does she know she can’t enter my pillow fort without the secret password.

My friend came back from the bathroom with wet hands. I noticed this. I said, “Wow it looks like you’ve washed your hands.” They say, “No, I just pissed on them so I can knock out two birds with one stone.”

My son is a man trapped in a woman’s body He'll be born in March

My wife is just like her toothbrush. On my ass every day for no good reason.

My son lost his first milk tooth today.. I hope that would teach him never to touch my PlayStation again ..

What do you call the connection between a family of Force users? The Force Kin.

Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease. Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

I saw a man on the street dressed as Henry VIII. He was sitting on the sidewalk asking people for money.I thought, that can't be right; beggars can't be Tudors?