The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.

I had an appointment to see my psychic next week, but she just called to cancel.

I asked the IT guy, "How do you make a Motherboard?" He said, "I tell her about my job."

What's Forrest Gump's computer password? 1forrest1

What kind of milk comes from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

My wife said my two biggest faults are I don’t listen and something else.

TIL that the writer Stephen King has a son named Joe... I’m not joking, but he is...

What was the plastic surgeon priest’s favourite thing to do? Alter boys

I live in MD and the governor is all “Don't go to the bar. Don't meet up with your friends. Don't come home with an infection.” Honestly, Gov. Larry Hogan is starting to sound like my wife.

Man walks into a library ... says to the librarian in a loud voice, ‘please can I have fish chips and mushy peas twice’. The librarian says ‘this is a library’. The man apologies and whispers ‘sorry, Please can I have fish chips and mushy pease twice’.

an occupation of a kid Mother: You can't imagine how many times I have to call him before he finally comes to me. I wonder what will he do for a living when he grows up... Father: a waiter?

Ever since 2017, my New Year’s resolution has been to work on my novel. Four years going and I’ve almost finished reading it!

I used to be a mass murderer... But then I got a vasectomy.

Just got vaccinated! Nothing special really, but you do get tired and just want to go home and browse Internet Explorer or Edge.