The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!

My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It’s a good thing he drives a Civic.

My wife and I have decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.

My wife said my two biggest faults are I don’t listen and something else.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn't working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!

Did you hear about the man who cut off his left leg? He’s all right now.

Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

To all those people that say "age is just a number"... ...well you're wrong, it's just a word.

If you're a teenage girl and you need to visit the mall to get supplies for art class, just say so. Don't turn to your dad as you leave the house and say "I'm going to the mall to get felt."

Lifting weights changed my life. I dropped 25 pounds... Right on my big toe. It’s broken now I can hardly walk

Every birthday, my uncle Guiseppe used to cook me a meal He'd say, "That was the pasta, this is the present."

"And this baby is our granddaughter. Her name is Degree." "I'm sorry, did you say Deborah?""No, no. Degree. Our daughter left for University and came back with this. It's her Degree."

The doctor said I have dyslexia which is a Brain condition Which makes no sense since my name is not Brian