The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

In my free time, I like to help blind people. Verb, not adjective.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? “Bison!”

A son tells his father, “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father sighs and says, “You know, you could do better.” “Thanks Dad,” the son says. “That means a lot.” The father shakes his head and goes, “I was talking to your girlfriend.”

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

Did you hear about the outlet who got in a fight with the power cord? He thought he could socket to him.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either.

I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.

30 percent of pet owners let their pets sleep in their bed. I tried it and my goldfish died.

I love telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he even laughs.

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

Mom texted me from the grocery store to say they’re out of pasta, and we’re penneless.