The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

This year we learned something very important: The world really isn't prepared for a global pandemic. Oh well, at least now we know. Hindsight really is 2020.

A young man was shopping in a department store. He sees an extremely attractive salesgirl and says, "I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife, but I don't know her size." "Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. "Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that yours." "Will there be anything else?" the sales girl queried as she wrapped the gloves. "Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra and panties."

If I had one dollar for every time someone complained about how rich Jeff Bezos is I still wouldn’t be as rich as Jeff Bezos.

A guy without a condom is like a knight without a shield He's either really good with the sword, or he is really thirsty.

Which course did Hillary Clinton select when playing Mario Kart? The short circuit

If the husband is the head of the family, then the wife is... The neck. Because she can turn the head anywhere.

My wife asked me what time my dentist appointment is “Tooth hurty”

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Well now that I’m older I don’t fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

Breaking News: The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.

I want to open a perfume store... I'd call it: "Common Scents."

What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells.

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

"Act like a parent. Talk like a peer. It's called peer-enting.'"

My dad died because he couldn't remember his blood type. He kept insisting we "be positive," but it's just so hard without him.

A rancher had only had 48 cows on his property, but when he rounded them up he had