The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

I emptied a bottle of leftover hair-dye down the toilet. Shit got dark pretty fast.

My sister and her husband just split up, so I got my 8 year old niece the new "Divorce Barbie" She comes with half of Ken's stuff.

My mom made me a bowl of soup yesterday Still trying to figure out how to return to my human form.

I wish Reddit had read receipts... so I can see who I just disappointed

Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night? -I have to do that or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny.-That's not going to work.-Why not?-Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up.

I just got a job in a factory making plastic Draculas There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second count

I've been trying to get a job on The Weather Channel forever... But turnover is low due to their low pressure system

You wanna hear a geography joke? Bob : "Hey Tom if you're Hungary I'll Serbia a Turkey Sandwich"Tom : "Oman that was a bad joke"Bob : "Yemen I know"Tom : "You Syriasly need to stop with these jokes..."Bob : "But Iraq at making jokes :("

Can anyone tell me who played Forrest Gump? T.hanks

We've all heard the one about the twin boys - once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal. But have you heard the one about the twin girls - Sharon is Karen.

A contestant made a meringue on Australian Masterchef and the crowd started clapping and cheering. The host said, "This is very unusual for an Australian audience. They normally Boo meringues!!"

We really shouldn't care what people at the Oscars say They are all paid actors anyway

A lonely, angry young man started to keep a spreadsheet of all the women who he thought had wronged him. It was the incel's Excel.

What do you call the moisture that forms between two lovers in Alabama? Relative Humidity

My Uncle invited me to a Benefit next weekend celebrating women without legs. Said the place would be crawling with pussy.