The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

What do you call Spiderman when he parks his car? Peter Parker

What's the difference between a German Tiger and a Siberian Tiger? One can survive the Winter.

I told my nephew that I was named after George Washington. He said, "but Uncle, your name is Jon." I said,"I know I was named AFTER George Washington."

Why are ghosts terrible liars? Because you can see right through them.

Q: Why don't astronomers like Orion's Belt? A: It's a big waist of space.

After dinner my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, 'When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.' 'Oh yeah?' the son retorts. 'Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.'

My daughter just shrieked at me, 'Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?' What an odd way to begin a conversation.

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.'

What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!'

My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It’s a good thing he drives a Civic.

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? Are you having a Crisis?

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, 'I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.'

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”

Mom is mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the ocean.