The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I’m having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She answered, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked:Then why did you eat him?”

A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said “honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”

Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.

My lord, my client is a liftman and this complainant walked in the elevator wearing low cleavage blouse showing ample amount of her breasts" "Then she caught him checking at them and said angrily'Stop staring at them and press one quickly ' .And my client did exactly that. I rest my case ".

Me: Hello, ASPCA? There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan ASPCA: We don't believe youMe: Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret

I overlayed some dubstep to my favorite video of a clumsy fisherman I synced them up to when they drop the bass.

My wife hates the fact that we never have visitors. I never would have guest

Observational humor isn't funny See?

Why are cars faster than motorcycles? Because motorcycles are two tired.

What do a country hotel and a tight pair of pants have in common? There's no ballroom.

An American comedian and a Chinese comedian are having a conversation American: "I've been writing some new jokes lately, they're really funny."Chinese: "Me too."American: "The amount I've written is worth around 2 hours of stage time."Chinese: "The amount I've written is worth around 30 years of labor camp time."

When I was a kid, my father showed me a world of pain I know he sounds like a monster, but he was just a French baker

I dared to ask my wife why she’s buying a giant tub of Whiteout from the store. Big mistake.

I went to a stand up about mountain climbing I was skeptical at first but, I have to admit when the routine reached its peak there was some high level jokes

A shark, crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar There’s no punchline, it’s just a normal day in Australia