The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

A Hasidic man, with a long beard, payis, a kaftan (long black coat), and shtreiml (the traditional fur hat), walks into a bar with a multi-colored parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says: "Where'd you get that?"The parrot replies: "Brooklyn. There's thousands of them."

my wife got mad at me after picking out baby names... she like it for the first week then it clicked for her... i said Peter Brian Johnson for a baby boy and Veronica Jessica Johnson for a baby girl...

My dad handed down to me a hereditary disease that causes diarrhea all the time. It runs in the jeans.

I recently broke it off with a pair of conjoined twins. I said, "It's not you, it's you."

The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming numbers... Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.

My kid wants to invent a pencil with an eraser on each end, but I just don't see the point.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here, ' the bartender says. “Why not? ' one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured. '

I can always tell when my wife is lying just by looking at her. I can also tell when she’s standing.

I finally got around to watching that documentary on clocks. It was about time.

Why does a husband lead a dog's life? He comes in with muddy feet, gets comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed.

My landlord told me we need to talk about the heating bill. 'Sure,' I said. 'My door is always open.'

I was sitting on the back porch with my wife when I suddenly blurted out, 'I love you.' 'Is that you or the beer talking?' she asked. I answered, 'It’s me… talking to my beer.'

I always knock on the fridge door before opening it, just in case there's a salad dressing.

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, 'I’m sorry, but you only have ten left.' The patient asks him, 'Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?' The doctor calmly looks at him and says, 'Nine.'