The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”

What do you call a kangaroo’s lazy joey? A pouch potato.

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”

What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!

My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept insisting we “be positive,” but it’s just so hard without him.

The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.

Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.

Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend.

My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are. But I laugh more.

What do you call someone who can’t stick to a diet? A desserter.

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.

I can always tell when my wife is lying just by looking at her. I can also tell when she’s standing.

Today I’m attaching a light to the ceiling, but I’m afraid I’ll probably screw it up.