The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋
Celebrate the joys (and challenges) of fatherhood with our collection of funny fatherhood jokes! These jokes capture the humor of being a dad, from the sleepless nights to the unforgettable dad moments. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just enjoy the lighter side of fatherhood, our funny fatherhood jokes will have you laughing at the ups and downs of parenting. Explore the best jokes that every dad can relate to!
Jimmy Carr was once on Top Gear, and was (for a time) the fastest star in a reasonably priced car. Which is ironic, because that is what all the hookers in L.A. called him, too.
A man calls 911 one day and frantically asks them to bring an ambulance Man: "My 14 year old son was entering the mine to find coal but he stubbed his toe on the entrance! Please bring an ambulance quickly!"911: "Sir I'm sorry but this is nothing we can do. We don't deal with such minor issues"
This year we learned something very important: The world really isn't prepared for a global pandemic. Oh well, at least now we know. Hindsight really is 2020.
Many fellow physicians were scheduling their own colonoscopy before a respected colleague ended his many years of practice. Just before going under sedation for my procedure I told him… “I’m just part of the parade of assholes here in your last few months to wish you a happy retirement.”
Thai Girl Last summer, I was sitting next to this hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.
My wife didn’t like my joke about a prisoner with dwarfism falling out of a window... ...she said it was a little condescending.
What do Chernobyl policeman and a box of chocolates have in common? They’ll both kill your dog
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach. Ha! That's not going to help, she said. Sure, it does, I said. It's the only way I can see the numbers.
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra!
How do nonbinary people hurt each other? They slash them. (They/them)
What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
Did you know that the first french fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
My wife told me she didn't understand cloning. I told her, 'That makes two of us.'