The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no. Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.

What starts with a 'C' and ends with a 'T', is hairy and oval on the outside and creamy on the inside? A coconut.

What do you called it when a Stoner, a Jedi and a Surgeon walk into a bar? Blunt Force Trauma

In an effort to play every famous person in the world, Tom Hanks has taken a new role In his ongoing effort to play every white man of any worthy note, Tom Hanks has be cast as Tom Hanks in his upcoming biopic

Bill Cosby, Anthony Weiner and Harvey Weinstein walk into a bar Harvey says, "Hey Bill, buy me a drink!"Bill shouts back, "I don't know what role you're trying to offer me, but let's not involve Weiner..."

What do you get for calling a suicide hotline in Iraq? A job offer

I bought Spotify premium for an uninterrupted music experience. But I still hear my wife's bickering between songs.

What is it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.

Today my son asked me for a book Mark. Can't believe he's 11 and still doesn't know I'm named Dave.

My wife kicked me out because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. But don't worry, I'll be back.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

Why does Sherlock Holmes love Mexican restaurants? They give him good case ideas.

I had an appointment to see my psychic next week, but she just called to cancel.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. 'She obviously has COVID,' my wife said. 'Why?' I asked. 'Because she has no taste.'