The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

Kid : " What are condoms used for?" Dad : " To avoid such questions. "

What does George W Bush call his kitty cats? Weapons of mice destruction

Grandma: What's the German guy who's hiding my medicine called? Grandson: Alzheimer's, Grandma, alzhemier's.

"Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?" No sun.

I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it.

I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa!

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He woke up.

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”

Am I the only man my wife has ever dated? Unfortunately yes, she said the others were all nines or tens!

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.” “Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March.

I just paid $100 for a belt that doesn’t fit — what a huge waist!

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.